The Beginning

I’ve talked a lot about what my pregnancy was like so that I could get into how I finally got into working out like it’s my job….and….enjoying it? Such a weird concept still, but hear me out.

I have always been skinny, but not the “good skinny”, you know? Not the fit skinny, the soft skinny. I have always had a great metabolism. If I wanted to lose weight, I would just really make up my mind to be all in on a diet and within two weeks would lose the weight, no big deal. I’ve also always been kind of physically lazy. There was a point in my life where I would run 3 miles a day, but that only lasted about a year before I decided I would rather just….well, do nothing.

So naturally I assumed that losing the baby weight would be similar to how I normally lose weight. Quickly and with minimal effort. It was not. Three weeks postpartum, I was basically screaming at my love handles in the mirror, “YOU DON’T BELONG HERE!”. Looking back, it was really ridiculous. I had just had a baby and gone through the most physically exhausting year of my life and immediately expected the weight to just melt right off. There is a lot to be said about the societal pressures about feeling like you need to lose the weight right away, but for right now, that is not the point I’m trying to make.

Anyway, it was January 2018 at this point and I had decided that I was going to make a New Year’s Resolution and actually keep it…..like everyone says every year, so original I know. I wanted to lose the baby weight. I weighed almost 160lbs, I’m 5’6″, and wanted to get back down to at least my pre-pregnancy weight of 135lbs.

I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it this time because this is the first time I had a significant amount of weight to lose. I am so thankful that at the same time, my sister-in-law had just become a Beachbody coach. She recommended the 21 Day Fix program to me and it.changed.everything.

This program was super easy to follow, was very clear on the type of food you could eat, but I never felt like I was starving myself. In 3 weeks, I lost about 10lbs so I decided to do another 21 days. I lost another 10lbs. I lost the last 5lbs I wanted to lose in one more round and never felt better about myself. It was the first time that I worked out on a regular basis and I LOVED IT. Well….I hated it at first, but when you start seeing results and you get to feel like you really worked hard, it’s 110% worth it. For the record, I am not a Beachbody coach and I am not promoting it in any way except to say that it really helped me decide what to do and how to do it. If anyone is new to working out or just wants to get in a routine, I highly recommend the 21 Day Fix.

The first picture is me at 6 weeks postpartum, the 2nd one is of me now. Neither of them are good pictures….but it gets the job done.


Now I weigh 132lbs, workout 5 days a week, do intermittent fasting (feel free to ask), and I am in the best shape I’ve ever been in…. and I actually enjoy it. I eat junk when I want to, I drink when I want to – except one thing has changed. My focus is not, and never again will be, to keep losing weight just for the sake of a number on a scale. My goal is to be healthy.

Question for everyone: What are your current fitness goals?




The Second Trimester


“It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.” – Albus Dumbledore

At 14 weeks, the worst part was over. I finally felt like almost myself again. I finally had enough energy to motivate myself to get out of bed. I didn’t feel like some foreign object was calling the shots anymore. I literally woke up one day and all of the sickness was gone. This was a great day.

Here is what was most interesting about this portion of pregnancy: people no longer see you as a person. They see you as an attraction at a museum that doesn’t have a “Do Not Touch” sign ONLY because that should be obvious. Apparently it’s not. I could go on for days about how pregnancy was unintentionally quite a social experiment and how shockingly different people treated me, but I’ll just give the highlights. One of the first instances I remember was at work. I was helping a man pick out some fish for his fish tank and I was spewing off roughly 5yrs of knowledge to help him successfully keep his aquarium alive. I ask him if he has any preferences and as an answer to my question he says, “so…..are you pregnant?” …… ……….. There are SO MANY things wrong with this scenario. First of all, you’ve all heard it, NEVER ask a woman if she is pregnant. Best case scenario, she says yes which does not weigh out against the worst case scenario. Just leave it alone. Also, I am a human being genuinely trying to help you. I just spent 10mins explaining different water quality levels and how to remedy them and you act as though you have heard nothing because CLEARLY nothing is more important than me being pregnant right now. Me. A stranger who has never seen you before. Me. A statue in a museum only worthy of your curiosity and personal entertainment. But wait there’s more.  Just because clearly commenting on the shape of my stomach was not enough, he then proceeds to ask me if I’m married. What. WHAT?! First of all, I’m wearing rings, look for yourself, but second, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? Clearly this conversation can’t just be about fish anymore. I’m sorry. Excuse me for thinking you care about living things you invest your money in. That was my fault. I remind myself that my job is customer service and nicely reply that yes, I am married. His opinion was that this was good. Thank God. I’m so glad I got his approval. And God forbid, I not be married.

The coolest part of the 2nd trimester….and well…really all of the pregnancy? This is when you first start to feel the baby move. It is scary and amazing and when I first started to feel a bond with this thing growing inside of me. It made it real. My mind went from “wow this is amazing” crying to “oh my god, I’m for real having a baby” crying. Quite a range of emotions. Speaking of emotions, this is period where I was MOST emotional. For example, I went on a work trip and after a 6hr flight and over an hour drive from the airport, all I wanted to do was sleep and watch some TV. Now to help you understand, I do not have television at home. I have Netflix and Hulu, but one vital thing that those two services do not provide? The Food Network. Every time I go on a work trip I am secretly excited that I get to stay in a hotel so I can watch The Food Network and keep an inevitable Chopped marathon on while I sleep. ANYWAY, I’m at the hotel ready to eat my weight in potato chips and watch The Food Network. I turn on the TV and “there is an error”. What. This is all I wanted IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK? I call the hotel office, a guy comes to look at the TV (and by look, I do mean literally stare at it and…that’s it) to tell me there is nothing he can do. I keep reminding myself to have the dignity to not cry in front of a stranger. He walks out and I instantly start to try and problem solve. WHAT DO I DO I MUST WATCH CHOPPED. So I finally have some clarity and download The Food Network app on my phone and start to watch The Next Food Network Star (my 2nd favorite show on this network) and everything was fine. I could stop choking back tears now. Then five minutes later it starts buffering……ugh. Okay. AND IT KEEPS BUFFERING FOR YEARS. I lost my mind. I instantly started bawling my eyes out and everything that ever seemed a little bit bad in my whole life came to mind at that moment. “I can’t even call Tyler because I’m halfway across the country and it’s 3am. Omg I can’t even be with Tyler right now, I won’t see him for a week. Am I too dependent on him? Ugh I didn’t even want those chips anyway. Pregnancy is making me gain so much weight. I JUST WANT TO WATCH THE FOOD NETWORK. You realize you’re crying about not getting to watch TV, right? YES AND I DON’T CARE”…… I. Was. A. Disaster. Then 5mins later, my app started working and I was fine.

And that is a perfect description of the 2nd trimester.


The First Trimester

Imagine being completely shocked and completely clueless at the same time. To me, it’s like seeing a human sized spider. It’s standing there, hovering over you, and you’re terrified and thinking “well I’ve never seen anything like this before” so you must be dreaming. Except you’re not. And you have to keep reminding yourself of that even though it’s standing there right in front of you. That is what my entire first trimester was like.

        So I think I’ve effectively covered that I was terrified. HOWEVER, I also received a lot of peace. First of all, since I asked that “we aren’t having a baby” question, I started praying about having a baby. Something about it just seemed to stay on my mind. I didn’t pray for a baby, I prayed that we would not have one until we were ready. If you don’t believe in prayer, that’s fine, but it helped me tremendously considering everything that I realized after that. For example, Tyler had been saying for awhile that the only thing holding him back from wanting to have a child is that he wanted us to have one more quality vacation together, just the two of us. We had decided in November 2016 to start saving for a trip to Universal in Orlando, FL. So it’s January and our trip to Universal is booked for March. I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of March…..funny how that worked out. Needless to say, I felt like God knew we were ready and that helped me be okay with it!

        Though I was able to find moments of peace, there are so many things to think about in that first trimester. Number one being potential miscarriage, but also how this would affect my job. I love my job and it’s selfish, but I wasn’t sure I wanted something to get in the way of it. I decided to keep my news a secret until I had cleared the 12 week mark because until then I told myself it wasn’t real anyway. I’m great at facing my fears. Keeping it a secret at work was actually really difficult because of the morning sickness (more on that in a second), but I was also really worried about how people would consider my work ethic once they found out. If I make one mistake, they’ll go “well yeah, she’s slacking, but she’s pregnant so you can’t say anything”. The solution? BUST ASS and show everyone what I’m capable of doing. So that’s what I did.


The Morning Sickness

I have a really obsessive personality. I read everything there was to read about morning sickness that was available. By the time we took our Universal trip, I was 6 weeks pregnant and knew that that was about the time when people get morning sickness if they’re going to….but I had felt nothing up until this point and I wasn’t going to let a fear of sickness ruin my chance to see Hogwarts. However, I very distinctly remember the first time I started to feel queasy. We were on our way to Universal, we had pulled into a McDonalds (because obviously, McDoubles), and I instantly felt car sick. And I really wish that’s what it had been because that would’ve been easier. I didn’t physically get sick, but I felt nauseous all night and through the next day. Thankfully, I did not throw up even one time at our stay in Florida. I was nauseous enough though to never want to wear my Slytherin t-shirt again. It’s still in my drawer, and I have not worn it since that trip. If only I knew this was CHILD’S PLAY for a growing fetus. Child’s. Play.

The next 2 months were ROUGH. To add to the drama, I am terrified of throwing up. I don’t know why, but I will do ANYTHING to not be sick. You read about the people who say “morning sickness isn’t just morning sickness. It’s all day” and you hear that and you don’t think it’ll be that bad for you because when people talk about pregnancy, they’re always speaking to their beautiful experience. I call MAJOR BS. Pregnancy is not beautiful and my first trimester will be ingrained in my mind forever. Nothing made me feel better. I tried crackers, I tried ginger everything; meat made me sick, coffee made me sick, water made me sick, breathing made me sick. It got to the point where when I would think about what to eat, I would think about what would be easiest to throw up. As someone who lives for food, this was a tragic experience. I will tell you this, I will NEVER eat an eggroll from Publix again.

 Side note: I gained almost 20lbs in just this trimester because everything made me feel horrible and I only ate junk. I’ve always been very body conscious and very healthy, so to see myself balloon up was something I was not mentally prepared for.

Here is one of those not so beautiful pregnancy moments. I legitimately thought (several times) that this was not worth it. I can not endure this even one more second. I cried a lot because I was so miserable. I was so miserable and why oh why do people get pregnant on purpose?